Monday, October 28, 2013

Giving of two...


Yesterday was a mixture of a day. Yesterday I gave two things to two different people.

One gift was a true joy to give! It was a gift for my dear friend Sara Beth. The gift was a song that I had been patiently waiting to give her for a long time. To watch her as she heard it for the first time and to be able to place a DVD copy in her hands was one of the greatest blessings. I am so thankful that I was able to give it to her.

Yet, the other giving was hard. It came about from God working in my heart. It wasn't easy to give even though it was good and what I was supposed to do. This was a gift of letting go. It was a gift of letting go of hurt feelings and a gift of forgiving. But, it was also a giving up of dreams and good memories into God's faithful hands.

To be honest, thoughts of the difficult giving of yesterday have been woven into my thoughts throughout today. It hasn't been easy. I'm trying to let go and to trust. I've let go of a lot of pain and so much un-forgiveness, but now I must let go of things I loved, things I cherished, dreams I dreamed, and good memories.

Letting go is hard. Especially when sometimes you still miss the good things, the good times, and the good moments with someone.

All in all, it is strange to think how much contrast a single day can hold. Filled with joy, laughter, tears, and aching all in one 24 hours span of time. Yet, in the midst of all of it God is faithful.

I pray that I will continue to learn to trust in this season of letting go.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Simplistic Saturdays...

Today I'm beginning a new blog series titled Simplistic Saturdays. Each Saturday I will post something simple such as a creative picture and a sentence or two. I hope you enjoy this new and simplistic series!

They Called Her A Wallflower

They called her a wallflower and she simply smiled.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

I don't need makeup...


I don't need makeup to be beautiful.

One day this week I wore makeup. Full makeup. I wore eye shadow, foundation, powder, mascara, and bright lipstick. I don't wear makeup every day so it was out of the ordinary for me. Someone I like and know commented that I should wear makeup more often. This person also jokingly stated that I would certainly "catch" a guy if I did and that I don't want to scare him/prospective guys away at the start with a makeup free face. I will be honest, it stung a little at first. But, then I realized something and so I simply responded what I truly believe, "My face isn't scary without makeup."

First of all, this is not a post about bashing the person that said these comments. It is more about the perception of beauty and relationships that bring about such conversations as the one I experienced. The reality is, I don't need makeup to be beautiful. I don't need makeup to meet the right guy. I don't even need a man. Is makeup nice from time to time? Yes. I wear it on days that I want to have a little creative fun with the way I look or to special events because I like to. And, I do hope that one day I will share life with someone else and eventually get married and start a family. But, I do not need it. My joy is not placed in such things.

The second thing I realized after walking away from that conversation is that if a makeup free face "scares away" a guy in the early stages of the relationship, he is not someone I want to or need to be with. If I am with someone he needs to stand by me when I am having a Fibro flare, when the pain is so terrible I cry. Someone who will learn to listen and support me when I am emotional or dealing with something difficult. I desire to be with someone that won't run the opposite direction when I am sick with the flu, in bed with greasy hair, a runny nose, and fever. Someone who will see me as beautiful when lines start to crease my face. Someone who will still hold my hands when they are wrinkled. I need someone who will choose to love and be patient with me when I loose my temper and act selfishly. So, if the mere sight of makeup free skin "scares" him early in our relationship, he is not the one for me. I am certain there are many scarier/uglier things he will see than that. Because, the reality of a relationship is that you don't just see the beautiful. The closer you get to someone, the more time you spend together, the more you see the beautiful and the ugly.

And, for those of you reading, I hope you also know this-

You don't need makeup to be beautiful. You are so much more than painted skin.


Sunday, October 13, 2013

New hair...

Life lately has been such a new season.

List of new-

1. I am actually doing well (and dare I say it?) enjoying my math course. This is new and very unexpected.
2. I am working my very first office job this year.
3. I'm taking a creative writing class.
4. I am incredibly peaceful these days.
Anxiety and stress are the lowest they've has been in a long time.
5. I've started volunteering as a reading tutor one morning a week.
6. I'm writing more and getting a little braver in dreaming about/submitting work for publication consideration.
7. I am learning to be content in singleness again.

There are so many new things that I decided I wanted a fresh haircut. I've been missing my short hair so I went and had it chopped short yesterday. It feels so wonderful to have short hair again!

I am thankful for the newness of so many things. But, most of all, I am thankful for the peacefulness I'm experiencing these days.

Thoughts to ponder-
Do you have any new things going on these days?
What are you enjoying about the current season you're in?