Thursday, June 27, 2013

An unexpected blog break and living...

Early morning blanket fort

Morning view

Cat with the morning view

Have two weeks truly passed by without me writing in this dear space? Really?

I suppose I took a blog break. Though, it happened without purposeful intentions to take a break. I am still here, I am still living, I am still creating. What have I been doing these past two weeks of silence? 

Well, I've simply been awaking in the mornings to beautiful sunshine views. I've pulled my soft cream blanket over my head at times and reached my hands up to build a sort of momentary fort. I've watched the patterns of the sunshine through the creamy woven fibers, watched the sun dance shadows on my curtain, seen the perfect silhouette of my sweet Juni cat, and rested on my back porch to view the summer sky.

I've crocheted new baby hats, doodled, written, taken pictures I look forward to sharing, spent time with family and friends, and simply taken time to breathe. Maybe the unexpected blog break was a catching of my breath, a slowing down, a time to truly see again, and to look at the world without the lens or confusion of my past relationship. Yes, these past two weeks have been like a deep breath. 

I'm happy to write once again. I'm happy to share a little bit. I'm happily taking deep breaths.

I hope you enjoy a few pictures of morning beauty, a silent video of the summer sky, and these sentences of mine.

Thoughts to ponder-
When was the last time you took a deep breath?
When was the last time you enjoyed the morning?  


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Happy bookstore finds: Kinfolk and Pooh...


Pooh's Library


100 Aker Wood

Last week I went on a little used bookstore excursion. I needed to get out of the house and in some ways I needed to get my thoughts onto other things. Bookstores are one of the perfect places for me to go when I need to get out and about. When I am walking through a used bookstore I always want to run my fingers along the book spines as I walk past long rows of shelves. I feel giddy as I keep an eye out for new treasures. And words feel like my natural space.

On this particular book adventure I found a few marvelous items! The first was a Kinfolk magazine! It was half the price that they normally sell for. Now, I am more than happy to pay full prize because Kinfolk is amazing quality and beautiful. In fact, I would order every issue new! But, alas, I do not have much money to spend on such a thing and I am in college. One day I will buy a new copy, but in the mean time it was a dream come true to find a copy of Kinfolk to call my own.

The second marvelous find was a set of Winnie the Pooh books in the edition I had one day hoped to own. I was so excited to find it! I had to put back other purchases I had set aside, but it was completely worth it since it isn't every day I come across this set. Each book has a pretty fabric cover and the original dust jackets. The illustrations are beautiful! When I look at the map inside the cover of the books I can't help imagine myself truly in the hundred aker wood meandering on a whimsical adventure. (Winnie the Pooh is one of my all time favorites in case you were wondering.)

So, there you have my two happy bookstore finds!

Thoughts to ponder-
Do you enjoy browsing used bookstores?
What are some of the best treasures you've found at a bookstore?


Monday, June 10, 2013

Summer: The first swim...


Summer. I am so thankful that summer is here.
For those of you who read my last post you know that this summer has had a bit of a painful start. I do not pretend that I am suddenly all better. I still cry sometimes and some days and places are still harder than others. But, I want to begin to write in this blog abode again. I want to write about the summer. I want to share with you photos of two grand discoveries I found and purchased at a used bookstore last week. (Which, I will be sharing that later this week. Yes, you should be excited!) I want to write about spider webs, beautiful sunsets, and books. I want to share crafts and summer adventures and to document the memories of this summer within this space. So, thank you to those who read. I am looking forward to taking pictures and writing more once again.

Summer. I sigh a happy sigh as I write it once again. Tonight I slipped into a pool for the first time since last summer. The cool water graced my skin and I felt the working of my muscles as I gently walked and floated in the pool. The warmth of blue jeans upon my legs after getting out of the pool was comforting. The clear blue summer sky above me kept beckoning my eyes to gaze, gaze, and gaze upon it. This was a truly summer night. It was a moment of outdoors, of blue sky, of memory making, and slowing down the pace of life. I made a few happy summer memories tonight. That memory making time is why I truly had a Magnificent Monday!

What are some of your favorite little summer memories or summer sensations?
What was Magnificent about your Monday?

May your Mondays be Magnificent!  


Monday, June 3, 2013

A single heart...

On Friday of last week a new necklace came in the mail for me. It was a silver necklace with a single heart etched and accented onto the metal. It was and is a symbolic piece for me. But, before I write more about the necklace I need to share.

I am single.

Luke and I mutually ended our relationship a little over a week ago. I sat and put a lot of thought into what I need to say. I knew I needed to write a post. I need to write this post for me, for people who know me long distance, and because I want people to be able to hear exactly what is on my heart and mind in regards to all of this without the uncertainty of my fragile emotions overwhelming my sharing. There are five things that I want to clearly express within this post.

1. I am grieving. I am hurting. This letting go and pain is like nothing I have ever felt before. It is raw and feels like an ache from within the deepest part of my heart. But, each day is a little easier and less painful than the day before. I have cried a lot. Sometimes I cry unexpectedly and over what seems like the tiniest thing, but that is all a part of grief. And, amidst it all I have peace, I have relief, and I have joy that looks different than what most people think of joy. God is good. He is faithfully guiding me. He is faithful. And, He has blessed me with the most amazing family, people I look up to, and friends to support, love, encourage, and pray for me through this.

2. I do not regret my relationship with Luke. This relationship blessed me many ways, taught me so much through the good and the painful, and was a growing experience. It was my first serious relationship and over this past year and a half I learned so much about myself, what is important to me in a life partner, and how to walk in a healthy relationship. I learned lessons that are so valuable for the future. I do not regret our relationship or the way we did many things. I am thankful for the boundaries we set and upheld. And, even though our relationship didn't produce the result of marriage, it was not a failure.

3. I do not hold hard feelings toward Luke and I do not want anyone who loves and cares about me to take up offense toward Luke because I am grieving or crying. I wish Luke the very best in life and hope that he has a wonderful future as he continues to grow and be who God made him to be.

4. The reasons and details of why we ended our relationship are personal. I will not be sharing them with the entire world. But, I will say one aspect and thing I learned- Sometimes you don't realize certain attributes are really important to you in a life partner until they are there or until they aren't there.

5. I am not afraid of or struggling with being single. I was truly content in my singleness before my relationship with Luke began. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was content. And, I am content in singleness once again. The pain is not in being single, it is in the grief of letting go. I truly know that if I am supposed to get married that I will meet and build that relationship in the right way and timing. I am not worried, afraid, or concerned that I will never marry. If I am supposed to marry the relationship will grow and unfold when the time is right. I am content.

Now that I have shared all of that, I will go back to the necklace. I bought the necklace for myself. It is mine to wear everyday. It is unattached from sentimental thoughts of anyone else. It is a reminder of the lessons I am learning. It is a reminder most of all of the love of God, His grace, and His guidance. And, lastly, a dear friend encouraged me with a verse recently that this necklace reminds me of every time I put it on. Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

This is hard, but God is faithful.

I am letting go. I'm looking forward to the future and open to another relationship someday if it is in God's will. I am trusting, living, enjoying the summer, and letting go one day at a time. As I grieve and let go it isn't easy, but it is good and it is what needed to happen.

So, for those of you who see me in my daily life (and also those of you who don't) please extend a little extra grace as I walk through this grieving process.