Thursday, May 24, 2012

Blank canvas and a new chapter...

I did it.

I completed my GED testing!
And, I completed it feeling great.
I honestly think that it went as well as possible and I'm proud of all of the hard work I put into preparing for the tests. I'm so thankful for my amazing GED teacher (Lori) and all of her support. I'm thankful for my family encouraging me to achieve this. I'm thankful for my amazing friends that texted, prayed for and encouraged me. I'm thankful for Luke and the celebration lunch he took me out on once I was done. I'm thankful that the testing is completed and that I feel good about it.

I do hope that I didn't simply pass, but that I achieved great scores. (Though, I would be okay with simply passing the math portions since that is such a hard area for me.)

Today I sat and took the last of the testing.
I remember filling in the very last bubble on the bubble sheet.
As I scribbled it dark I thought,

"That's it. I'm officially done with high school. Wow."

It was such a bitter sweet moment.
Mostly sweet, but a little emotional.

I don't know what I'm doing now. I've been so focused the past few months on completing my GED.
Now, the future seems like this big vast unknown space.

But, as I was telling my Momma, I feel like God is teaching me not to look at the future of the rest of this year as a big, vast, terrifying, unknown. I feel like He is teaching me to look at it instead as a big, blank canvas. As an artist I'm afraid to take a brush in hand, choose a color, and paint those first strokes. I don't know what the picture is supposed to look like. But, maybe that's okay. Maybe He wants me to begin taking those first brush strokes and trust that He'll guide me as I go and the moment of creative direction will hit and I'll know the general way to go, what strokes to paint, and if over time it changes some it will be okay.

So, life, with your big blank canvas chapter waiting for me...
I'm coming.
With paints in their bottles, with brushes in my pocket, with a flower in my hair; I'm coming to begin the new chapter and new painting for my life gallery.

I don't know what this next chapter of life is going to look like once it's been painted.
But, after I walk across that stage in that funny cap and black gown (with my blue celebration dress beneath) the new chapter will begin.
And, I'll make that first stroke with paintbrush in hand. (Or, I might even dive right in and finger-paint! *Gasp! Can "grown ups" finger-paint in life?* Yes, yes, I think that might be just right for me.)

Photo Source- Amanda Kern



  1. Congratulations! :)

    I have been out of high school for a while now & most of the time I still feel like the future is a big vast unknown space... No matter what stage we are all in, we need to trust God always! :)

    1. Thank you, Sarah!

      Thank you for sharing. May we both continue to trust God amidst the unknowns of life. =)

  2. Hi there! Thanks for commenting on my blog! I love making new friends online. :) Sounds like you are going through a momentous time in life, me too. Life is scary but exciting at the same time.

    And yes, Adults can definitely use finger paint! :)

    1. Hi Amanda!

      You're very welcome!
      I'm glad that we were able to connect and find each others' blogs.

      Hooray! I'm glad you agree about the finger paint. =)


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