There are some weeks in which a heart can be overwhelmingly heavy with sorrow and weary, then overwhelmingly overcome with peace, and then still later overflowing with joy.
That is the sort of week I have had.
The week began with some heavy sorrow. Philippians 4:4-7 has been my anthem during such sorrow. My Mema, the one with the songbird voice that has told me farm stories, baked cookies with me, played a memory-matching game, the one who is now fading with loss of her memory had a hard week. She thought my Pepa was still alive. She thought that no one was letting her see him. So, she threw herself to the ground. Like a small child trapped in adult frame she acted out. My heart was filled with heavy sorrow. She believed her husband-love was alive and that no one would let her see him. Yet, those around her had the knowledge that he has been gone many years.
All that I could do was pray and write.
And, remember Philippians 4:4-7-
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Yet, then my heart was overcome with peace. That still small whisper of love.
As I prayed and gave thanks and let my requests be known to Him. He was faithful to provide peace.
Though, I don’t believe that peace is an absence of pain. I think it is possible to still be in the calm of peace with an aching heart. Yet, it is an aching heart that is calm and not wrought with anxiety.
Perhaps I’m wrong, but that is a personal observation of peace.
And, then there was that gentle joy as I found out that my Mema was calmer and had gone back to her “usual self”. She is confused and still in the hospital, but doing so much better.
Then, last night, a dear friend called. She had glorious news to share!
I made such loud and joyful sounds over the phone upon hearing her news. She shared with a happy heart. And, I truly understand. We took time to pray together and give the utmost thanks. I’m so happy for her.
So, in life, there are times of sorrow yet there is peace.
And in life there are times of nearly unspeakable joy.
There are both and sometimes they happen in the same week or even the same day.
Yet, there is one thing that I know above all else- He is good.
Amidst the sorrow- He is good.
Amidst the joy- He is good.
This has been such a mixture of a week.