Thursday, February 9, 2012

CFS/FM Diaries: A Difficult Day and Doodles...

For those new to the blog- Last year I began a series called the CFS/FM Diaries and today I'm sharing another post in that series. To help better understand why I started this series here is what I wrote about starting it back in August:

I thought that I would begin what I call CFS/FM Diaries. This blog isn’t all about my health and sometimes I think I’m a little reluctant to write about my health very much. So, I’ve decided to do the CFS/FM (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia) Diaries.
By creating this “category” to my writing I feel it will help readers better peruse my blog.
Sometimes people won’t always feel like reading about my journey with my health issues, at the same time others particularly want to read about my journey with CFS/FM. By creating this category I believe (and hope) that it will help readers have an even better blog experience.
And, the fact is I need to write about my health journey- the good and the bad.
So write I will.

This post will mostly be about my health. If you don't particularly want to read about it, that is okay. Feel free to scroll down to the bottom and let some doodles brighten up your day.

So, without further prefacing...

A Difficult Day 

It's been a bit of a rough day today.

Last night a bad Fibromyalgia flare-up started. (I believe it was caused by not getting good rest on Tuesday night. One of our neighbors was disruptive into the very early hours of the morning which caused me to not go into a deep sleep cycle. And, I'm sure hormone issues contributed too.)
I have been able to accomplish a few things today, but it has mostly been a rest day.

In all honesty, Fibromyalgia pain is terrible. Really. It is.
For the sake of "being real" I'll try describe what it felt like today.

The joints in my hands and my feet ache and feel very stiff. My ankles and wrists ache and are uncomfortable with sometimes "pokey" pain. The tendons or ligaments (I honestly am not for sure which one) in my arms and legs have a achy burning sensation up and down. My knees and elbows ache and hurt too.

The pain doesn't easy with a pain medication and the pain makes me tired. It makes everything seem twenty times more difficult to do. And, I think my brain is so distracted by the pain and whatever is going on in my body that it can't focus very well on anything.

There are times that I want to be held, have my back rubbed, and such. But, that only makes my body more upset and triggers a worsening of the pain. So, I try to get as comfortable with pillows, quilts, and occasionally gripping a stuffed animal. (It may seem childish, but when my body is in pain the feel of something soft and familiar in my hand can be comforting.)

Sometimes, I think about texting someone. I think it is from a longing to have something to take my mind off of the pain, for a longing to connect, to maybe smile a little, to hear about something that has nothing to do with my bed. But, there is also some things that often holds me back. I don't want a pity party. I don't know if I even want them to tell me their sorry I'm feeling bad. And, I don't like bringing people down. So, more often then not I don't text.
(Though, I have to say I have amazing friends. Anytime I've ever stayed home from something that I had planned on going to someone has texted, emailed, or messaged me something sweet. I'm so thankful for the amazing people in my life that are sensitive to my health issues when I'm with them and even when I'm not. If you're reading this, friends, you are amazing!) 

My family is amazing too! They encourage me, help me, and check on me, and tell me extra "I love you"s on the hard days. I'm incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful family.

The Fibro flares are something I've learned that I just have to ride out. It will pass, but I need to rest, relax, and rest some more.

Now, would you like to hear the good news?

I haven't had a flare-up like this in a long time!
This sort of pain used to be a weekly and, at some points last year, a daily experience. I look at this flare-up and I'm reminded of why I watch what I eat, why I take supplements, why I avoid hard chairs for long periods of time, and so on. It is also a reminder of how much I have to be thankful for.

I'm thankful in the good times, but I also choose to be thankful in the not so good times.

After all that bit of seriousness I would like to end this post on a much more cheerful note. Yesterday really was a doodle day and I wanted to share three more doodles I created. (I created them for handmade Valentine's that I'll be giving to friends this coming week.)

Want to see?

Flickr Link

Flickr Link
Flickr Link
I choose to be a jubilant flower today and give thanks in the midst of even storms and rain.



  1. Wow, Sarah, I had no idea. I'm sorry to hear you experience this kind of pain! I'm glad to hear that it's better lately though and your positive outlook is really inspiring.

  2. Emily- Thank you. =) You made me smile and blessed my heart.

    Sarah- Thank you for your kind words! I'm so thankful for how much better it has been lately.
    Thank you for your thoughtfulness and the compliment. You always leave such sweet comments.

  3. I hope you feel better this weekend! your doodles are so cute =)

  4. Thank you, Ka'ili!
    I'm pleased to say that I am feeling better!

    Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed them. =)

  5. Such sweet little valentines! I love the little tea cups with "friendship"! that is so cute! :)

    I am glad that you seem to be feeling better now! Happy Valentine's Day!

  6. Thank you, Sarah!
    I enjoyed creating them.
    The little tea cups was the design I created for one of my very dear friends. =)

    Thank you! I hope you had a great Valentine's Day!


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