Friday, January 27, 2012

A life update and lots of smiles...

Hello everyone!

How are you? I've been rather absent in the blogger sphere lately.  But, today I'm back to update you on a lot of exciting things!

Back in this post I wrote a bit about transitions. That is one of the major words to describe 2012 for me so far. I'm excited! And, I finally have the opportunity to share a bit about some of those transitions.

The first exciting news is that I'm in the process of receiving a GED. I'm very excited and should be done by May! This is honestly such a relief and answer to prayers. My health issues have made completing high school (in a more typical fashion) very difficult. But, the GED program and test seems so much better suited for my life right now. And, I will be able to finally have more of a real closure on my high school chapter of life.

I will never stop learning. I want to continue learning and growing my entire life. I may even take college classes little by little. But, it will be such a wonderful thing to be "finished" with a season.

Another bit of exciting news is that I will actually be able to participate in the graduation with my friends in June! I will get to walk the stage with a group of wonderful people from one of our local home-school groups. I'm very, very excited!

I've also been honored with an invitation to prom this year by a splendid gentleman. I'm so glad he asked me and I'm truly looking forward to going with him. (Bonus: He is very sensitive of my health issues and how they affect my life! When people take time to try to understand, aren't afraid to ask questions, and are supportive, it means so very much. Words can't truly express how much that means to me.)

This is such an exciting time for me. A year ago none of this seemed possible. I look back on my journals and realize how blessed I am.

Last January-
I didn't think I would be able to complete my high school education for a long time.
I didn't think I would ever be a part of a graduation ceremony. (That is part of why my wonderful parents put together my Sarahbration party.)
I didn't know if there would ever be a godly young man willing to be sensitive to my health issues, interested in me and in asking me to something like prom.  (Though, honestly, I'm amazed looking back in my journals and realizing recently how God has taken me on a journey of contentment over the last year.)

This January-
I'm completing "high school" and will be able to move on to college classes if I want to.
I'm going to celebrate a closing chapter of life with a group of amazing people.
I'm going to prom with a wonderful guy.

The things that I most want to say is- God is faithful.
I believed that when I was in bed for days at a time a year ago and I continue to believe that in this season of jubilation.

Words can't express how happy and thankful I am!

This is a year of transitions and this is a year of adventure. I pray that Daddy God continues to guide me every step of the way.


P.S. My health continues to be in a good place. I still need to be wise, stay within the boundaries, take my supplements, and rest, but I'm in a good place.

Also, I'm excited to share pictures soon of the gift I've been working on! I'm so close to being finished with it.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Beauty in imperfection...

I wrote the following post last week, but didn't post it. I wanted to take a bit of time to share it with all of you tonight.
I hope you are having a Magnificent Monday! I have a good bit to catch you up on this week.
But, until tomorrow, would you take a bit of time to read about this thing I call beauty in imperfection?
Will you say with me that there is beauty in imperfection?
Will you say to your reflection that there is beauty in imperfection?

Thank you for reading on...

My heart ached as I read about a beauty that felt so flawed, so lacking, so ugly. My heart ached. For, she is so beautiful. And, she was hurting her body and her mind. Simply, she was hurting.

Yet, it is so identifiable. The not feeling good enough, thin enough, too flawed, too many stretch marks, too many scars; too much or not enough of something. There is so much emphasis put on perfection. But, perfection isn’t attainable. Not only that, but not everyone sees physical beauty the same.

Just as I’ve never been attracted to super built, buff, etched, out of the magazine of GAP sort of guys, not all guys want a model slender girl. Personally, when it comes to outward appearance, I like what I describe as “a quirky/creative/nerd with good hygiene” sort of guy. (Yes, you may laugh. But, it is true!) And, I’m finally at a place where I know that if the right guy is out there he is going to love me in my imperfect form. I’ve got blemishes, extra weight, and scars, but that is okay. I’m me.

It’s a journey though. I grew up spending a good bit of time much heavier. At age 14, I was 35ish pounds heavier than I am now. All of my friends seemed like the tiniest things. But, I began to make healthy changes to my diet and I was exercising. I began to feel much healthier and in turn I looked healthier.

Today, I really am happy.

Am I supremely proud of every aspect of my body? No.
Do I appreciate my body and its current condition? Yes.
Why? Because, I have physically been so ill due to chronic health issues that I spent days not being able to shower. I spent time where I was very isolated and couldn’t enjoy using my body to go out and about. (Much less enjoy “primping”.) Because, I realized in those bad times how much I have to be thankful for in good times like this. And, because, I realized that our bodies fade, sag, wrinkle, and age. Though there is beauty in the midst of aging I realized deep in my heart that I want good health and good heart- not outward “perfection”. (If there even is such a thing!)

After all, a person can look “perfect” on the outside while rotting within.

Why have I written all of this today?
I think it is because I want all of us as older women, young women, and girls to realize from the very depths of our heart that beauty is so much more than perfection. I want to hug you, like I often want to go back and hug my young 14 year-old self and say, “You’re beautiful. It’s okay. You’re loved. You are precious. Strive to be healthy and appreciate all these life adventures. You never know what tomorrow holds.”


Friday, January 13, 2012

Awake: A five minute Friday...

I haven't linked up to a five minute Friday in a long while, but today when I read the prompt I knew that words were ready to spill.

Want to join in with five minutes of your time?



This morning I rested awake in bed with head upon my pillow.
I dreamed the night right through.
I dreamed dreams that were good and true.
But, I wasn’t wholly happy when I awoke,
For the dreams had revealed desires of my heart and how deep they seeped through.
I desire what I dreamed about.
But, as I was awake I knew that I still held empty hands out in trust.
Awake- I knew that life is still in transition and limbo land with some things.
Awake- I chose again to lift my empty hands and trust that He knows best.
Awake- I know that I want this dream to come true, but rushing will not improve
Instead it would hurt.

So, I sit awake with a trusting heart.
I sit awake and I wait.
I will not be idle, but I will wait on Him for this.
I sit awake,
I choose to trust and wait.



Thursday, January 12, 2012


Hello my friends!

(Photo Credit and Link)

I'm currently taking a break from working on a rather spectacular birthday gift. If it weren't a surprise I would be spilling details and pictures into this post this very moment. But, as it is, I must keep that secret under-wraps until the gift has been unwrapped. I look forward to sharing more when I can!

This project has my creative mind swirling, my gift giver heart giddy, and my hands busy. I really like to give gifts that are creative and are made after storing up a bit of knowledge and information about the receiver. It's such great fun!

Do you like to give creative gifts?
Do you enjoy when a gift is creatively given to you?

Due to studying, this rather large project, and such, I may be a bit lacking in my frequency of blogging this next week. But, I should have a great deal of life, inspiration, and celebration to share once I get back into the swing of things.

I hope that you are truly having a wonderful day. May you count a few gifts of grace today.


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

2012 has just begun...

Hello everyone!

2012 has just begun! Transitions, possibility, love, and blessings are the first four words that keep coming to my mind to describe this new year so far.

There are a lot of transitions unfolding this year that I'm excited about! I'm looking forward to sharing with all of you once things continue to unfold with each individual life transition. The first transition that has occurred is the transition out of my youth group into the young adult group. That may seem like such a small thing, but it really feels like one chapter of my life closed and a brand new one has just begun. It was overwhelming, but it is also extremely exciting. I can already tell that the new setting is going to be a growing experience. I'm looking forward to how God grows me.

Keep an eye out for more transition updates in the coming months!

There is a lot of possibility in my life right now. Some of the possibility has me in the often unpleasant place called "limbo land", but it is exciting.

My life is so filled with love. I've been overwhelmed first and foremost by God's love. And, this year there are so many wonderful and loving relationships in my life. I also want this year to be a time of majorly living out love even more.

All in all, I'm incredibly blessed. Sometimes I worry that I overuse that word, but it is so true. I'm very blessed in so many ways! My health continues to be in a good place, I'm dreaming, contemplating, and living a full life. A full life doesn't mean going a hundred miles an hour and filling every time slot on my calendar. I used to think that is what a full life is. But, I'm learning that a full life is so much more than that! A full life is making the most of the blessings, the joys, the hard times, and living for more than yourself.

Life isn't perfect, I hope no one ever thinks that. I have hard days, days that I cry or worry too much about the future. But, in the midst of it all I'm so very thankful.

Now that I've shared a bit about 2012 in words, I would like to ask you.

What four words best describe 2012 so far for you?


Friday, January 6, 2012

Sleep well...

I just returned home from the library and I smiled as I looked up at the moon in the bright blue sky.

Upon arriving home I ran into the house to pick up Desislava. (Or, Desi for short.) I couldn't glimpse the moon from the backyard, so, back through the house and out to the front yard I went.

I captured a glimpse of the beauty. A mere glimpse. But, I'm glad I froze it into a frame.

I'm tired today. Happy, but tired.

I think my tiredness is perhaps physical and emotional. I've been processing and praying through different things a lot lately. I've been physically more active. I think I need to slow down a bit. It's a new year filled with new adventures.  But, it is still just as important to take time to "just be" and take time for sufficient rest.

In my physical and emotional tiredness I choose to smile. I choose to look up at the moon residing in the sky and sigh. A happy sigh, not lonely or sad, but happy. I will make the most of my activities, but I will also make the most of the times of rest.

May you take time to look at the moon when it is in the sky.
May you make the most of the busy and the restful times.
May God lead and guide your life.
And, to quote Mae's song Sleep Well may you-

Sleep well,
Sleep well,


Monday, January 2, 2012

Dreaming of snow...

Hello everyone!

This is my first post of the new year. The year is so new that I'm still accidentally writing 2011 instead of 2012 within the pages of my journal.

Dream of snow...

Where I live snow is very special. It doesn't happen often and so it is an experience that I cherish very much when we get to enjoy it.

It hasn't snowed recently, in fact, the snow in that picture is completely created by Picnik photo editor. 

When I created the picture I think there was a lot going on within my mind. I was dwelling on the winter and the beauty and the specialness of snow. And, just tonight I realized with a chuckle that I was pondering discussions that I've recently had with my parents as I edited that picture.

I'm dreaming of snow.

Within my daydreams and within my night-dreams. There are dreams of snow.

And, when I speak of snow I don't simply mean the real white stuff falling from the sky. In some ways, it is symbolic. I'm awaiting with anticipation, prayer, and thoughtfulness to see how this year unfolds. I'm dreaming of all the special snow moments that God is currently and has planned to rain down on me. I'm dreaming of the possibility of a single snow flake gently landing within the palm of my hand in God's perfect timing.

Today is the second day of 2012 and already there have been precious memories made, heart checks, precious times with my Daddy God, poetry written, journal pages filled, and lessons learned. This year is off to a wonderful start. And, I'm allowing myself to dream of snow.

So, self, dream of snow. But, most of all, live as He leads and trust in His timing. And, remember Philipians 2:3-4,

"3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (ESV)

Are you excited about the newness of this year?
How may I be praying for you?