Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I say, "I'm really happy today!"

“Momma,” I said this afternoon.
“Hmm?” She said in reply.
I spoke the words that my heart has been singing all day, “I’m really happy.”
Until the words flowed off of my tongue I hadn’t realized how long it has been since I said that.

It’s been a long time since I actually said that I’m happy.
That’s rather a melancholy thought.
Yet, all day those words I spoke to Momma have been ready to pour out of me.

I feel so blessed this week!
I had a terrible pain day Monday, but I’ve been doing so much better yesterday and today.
There are blessings and things to be thankful for all around me and the weather is so much cooler!
And, guess what?
My new school schedule is working! For the first time in a long time I’m finally finding a rhythm for my body. One day, one step at a time I’m moving forward.

I think that is what I’m learning.
I’m learning to be thankful for each day, each step, and each moment of grace.
I’m nowhere near perfect or done learning this lesson, but I’m learning.
It’s a glorious feeling to be moving forward in school! Now, I also realize that I’m little miss overachiever and if I don’t watch myself I’m going to try to plan the course of my life down to the minute detail after two successful days. (Have I mentioned I’m rather a planner and that I can go a little crazy with over planning?) Last autumn I didn’t recognize how dangerous that aspect of myself is to my health. It’s so easy for me to get ahead of myself with plans and suddenly wanting to take on the world after a small success. So, I'm working on stopping myself from going crazy planning wise and learning not to take on the entire world after two successful days. (I would like to take a moment to say I'm extremely thankful for my Momma. She is amazing and helps speak wisdom into my life about this area- even when it is not what I want to hear. She can sum it up in one heart-piercing question, “Sarah, do you think that is wise?” Ooo…get’s me in a good way every time.)

Circumstances will change, I don’t know what tomorrow will look like, but I’m choosing to celebrate that I am really happy and blessed today!  By the grace and blessings of my Daddy God I am really happy.
There is inexplicable joy found in Him and His steadfast love.

Steadfast love-
Those words and the way they sound cause me to overflow with joy lately.
Steadfast- Firm and unwavering.

I will continue to strive to take the new schedule one day and one step at a time.
I'll smile and take time to verbally say, "I am really happy today."

When was the last time you spoke it aloud that you are really happy?
When was the last time you were overwhelmed by the grace and blessings in your life?


P.S. This weekend (or next weekend depending on if I want more of a test run to share) I'm planning on posting a CFS/FM diaries post about the school schedule in more detail. I want to see how I continue to do before I write that post.

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