I believe it is about time for another edition of CFS/FM Diaries.
This is a rather long post and it is devoted to updates on my health issues. I realize that not everyone wants to read about my health updates so I have recently decided to title the posts that are devoted to that topic the CFS/FM Diaries.
I've been reasonably well lately. I still have good days and bad days, I still have symptoms every day, but I also have much more ability to do things especially when it comes to school work.
I feel like I'm slowly improving to back where I was health-wise last autumn. I'm currently able to do 9-15 hours of school a week with each day being about 2-3 hours. I honestly don't know how it happened, but towards the end of the summer my "brain fog" suddenly lessened! Now, it is still around especially when I over due. But, I can't tell you how much of a blessing it is to be able to do some school work again. I feel like since January I barely accomplished anything until this month. A friend recently emailed and asked how I'm doing these days. As part of my reply I shared in regards to school that-
~I must be willing to sometimes just say that, "Today is a rest day and that is okay."~
That is so very true. There are some days that my body has worsened symptoms. I don't always understand what triggers those days, but I have to be willing to set aside my schedule and instead rest.
I think one of the hardest things about these two syndromes is that I don't really have any idea what the future holds. In reality, no human does, but when one is healthy it is easier to guess and plan. I so easily become overwhelmed and even sometimes really upset when I try to think even a year ahead. I've always been a planner yet planning is so tentative now. I'm truly having to learn to trust and walk out one day at a time. That's not to say I can't dream or plan things, but I must be willing to let them go if things change.
I re-visit the new doctor's office next week and I'm curious to see what my lab reports+adrenal lab test show.
I had two pretty bad Fibromyalgia (FM) days last week and I came up with a new words picture for the pain.
Sometimes I forget that my pain isn't "normal" and that my family doesn't feel what I feel. The bad pain began on an evening and was fairly bad all night. I thankfully slept some which helps the pain not be as bad the next day. But, oh, when I woke up I felt terrible. I haven't had a morning where I woke up in pain and feeling exhausted in quite awhile. (That is thankfully because my body has been sleeping soooo much better lately! Yay!) As I went about my day my Momma knew what a bad night I had the night before and that I was in a lot of pain. I took a bit of time thinking about how to explain it to her and I finally found a good description.
I felt like a bunch of people had gone under my skin while I was asleep and punched my muscles and tendons over and over again until I woke up- leaving me sore and beat-up.
A little graphic, but that actually made sense to my family.
I also realized when I had those two pretty bad days that I'm so very thankful for the good days and the incredible blessing of improved sleep that I've been enjoying lately. When I wake up in the mornings and realize I'm not in terrible pain and that I don't feel like I weigh a ton I sing a little thank you in my heart.
That's the latest and I'll be writing another update once I have my appointment next week.